im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
