I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
