I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
