Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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