Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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