my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
