You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
