Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
