he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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