I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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