well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
