It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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