so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
