Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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