She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
