I wish I only lived at night.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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