At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
