Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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