all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
