Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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