And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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