I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
