I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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