haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
