I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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