What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Also, beer. Big fan.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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