You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
