Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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