he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
