I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
