the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
