I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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