theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
