Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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