Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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