well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
