Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
