love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
