dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
