How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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