this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
