Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
