I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i think im in europe. pls send help
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
