Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
