I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
