Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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