I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
