Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
