You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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