my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm just crazy horny about you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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